The Wedding
by patemalah21
Summary: Sherlock's getting married. It should be a hoot! Dedicated to Johns Army Lady on her birthday. Five 221B chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This is a series of five 221b chapters, each containing 221 words with the last word beginning with "B," dedicated to the lovely John's Army Lady. Read them all in one sitting for the full effect. Happiest of Birthdays dear!**

**The Wedding**

**Chapter One**

"Molly! I need you!" Sherlock Holmes announced importantly as he swept into the morgue followed closely by his friend, John Watson.

"That's nice," Molly smiled as she finished the last few stitches in the body of William Locke. "What body part do you want?" She asked.

"I don't need body parts Molly, I need you. Will you marry me?"

"What?" Molly gasped and dropped her tray of tools she was carrying. They clattered to the floor, a scalpel narrowly missing her foot. Molly quickly knelt to pick up the fallen instruments. Her face flushed, she rapidly reviewed what Sherlock had just said. Inner Molly jumped up and down and began to shake pom-poms in a victory cheer. Fortunately, rational Molly took control as she peeped up at the consulting genius. Sherlock was staring intently, obviously waiting for her answer. Molly looked over at John who was wiping his hand down his face.

"Sherlock!" John groaned.

Sherlock glanced over at his blogger.

"Not good?" he asked.

John just shook his head. Sherlock looked back at Molly who was still frozen in place, her hand hovering over two forceps and a scalpel.

Sherlock frowned. "Oh," he said, "it's for a case"

"Okay," Molly replied, she was a little disappointed.

"Excellent!" Sherlock grinned. Turning to leave he remarked casually, "Molly you are the best!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"My client's wife suffered a heart attack because of this scoundrel," Sherlock told Lestrade. "He has hired me to apprehend him whatever the cost."

"How do you know he will appear?"

"He is drawn to highly publicized weddings. I am rather famous. I'll make sure the papers have lots to talk about," Sherlock replied.

"And Molly is okay with all this?" Lestrade asked incredulously.

"Of course," Sherlock said. "She rather fancies me you know."

Lestrade frowned. "I still think you should let the authorities take care of this. Still, he appears a harmless enough fellow. All he does is expose himself during the wedding ceremony and streak down the aisle. It should be easy enough for you to spot him. He'll be the naked one! I heard he's rather well endowed."

"Could be the beginning of Elephantitis lymphedema," John commented.

Sherlock frowned at John, and then turned to Lestrade.

"I need you to give away the bride. Besides, it's always nice to have an extra pair of hands about if things go wrong."

Lestrade thought a moment, then grinned. "Sure, this sounds like fun. It will have to be unofficial, as far as the Yard is concerned." He rubbed his hands together gleefully. "I would not miss this for the world. I would be glad to help you catch this bugger."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The small chapel was filled with freshly bathed and smartly dressed homeless people. John didn't want to know how Sherlock had managed it. It must have put quite a dent in Mycroft's card.

Standing by the altar, Sherlock looked very sharp in his tux. He had slicked back his curls with gel for the occasion. It accented his cheekbones and gave him a very debonair look.

John, also dressed in a tux, did not appear so sharp, but looked good enough to catch several winks from the ladies in the crowd.

"Check on Molly," Sherlock muttered to John. It's past time to start. We don't want our man to give up."

John nodded and headed back to where Lestrade was waiting in the foyer outside Molly's dressing room. John lifted his hand to knock, but on hearing a sharp cry of pain, both he and Lestrade opened the door to find Molly lying in a heap on the floor.

"I've sprained my ankle!" Molly gasped. "I'm rubbish walking in stilettoes."

John examined Molly's rapidly swelling ankle.

"It's broken," He said softly.

"What are we to do?" Molly wailed. "Maybe one of the homeless?"

Lestrade shook his head. "No time. John, you should be able to fit into that dress."

"No!" John growled. "I am definitely not going to be the bride!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

John scowled. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this. The wedding dress which had been Molly's mother's, was big on Molly and actually fit him quite well. Thank goodness, it had a high neckline. He would have looked absurd with his furry blond chest exposed. At least he was tall enough not to need Molly's stilettoes. Thank goodness with the veil over his head, no one would recognize him.

Molly patted his arm sympathetically. "You will be fine John. If it helps, I really do envy you. I wish it were me going down that aisle," Molly said a little tearfully.

John squeezed her arm, adjusted the thick veil, and walked through the door.

"You look gorgeous!" Lestrade whispered as he offered his arm.

"Shut the bloody hell up!" John growled.

Lestrade snorted.

The wedding march began, half way down the aisle, John saw Sherlock stiffen, and then relax. Evidently he was okay with the change in the bride.

"You look lovely," Sherlock whispered as they both faced the fake minister.

"Shut up," John replied.

"I don't believe I've ever seen you so radiant," Sherlock smirked.

John's reply, which contained multiple swear words, was cut short by the appearance of a very tall man who popped up behind the minister. The very impressive man was huge, and most definitely bare.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

One minute, John was swearing softly at his friend, the next Sherlock had shoved him aside to tackle the overly large pervert.

John landed roughly on his bum. In a flash, he was on his feet, hiking his skirts and jumping several pews in order to head off the man.

The room went wild. The wedding guests, forgetting all decorum, began to whistle and shout encouragement. Others, overcome in enthusiasm began to throw hymnals and prayer cards into the air. It was chaos. Some of them were even cheering for the pervert!

Up and down the aisles, over the empty pews and around the altar they chased the man whom John conceded was indeed very well endowed.

The man was not easy to catch, his form being covered in body oil, it was rather like trying to catch a greased pig at a country fair. John finally managed to tackle him while Sherlock slapped handcuffs on the pervert's wrists.

Lestrade, who had been curiously absent during all the fracas, suddenly appeared leading a large group of paparazzi.

"As you can plainly see," Lestrade said rather jovially. "The bride and groom have things well in hand."

The cameras began to click madly.

"It's so important to get lovely wedding pictures," Lestrade said snickering loudly.

John glared into the cameras and said, "Bollocks!"


End file.
